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Tuesday, December 19th, 2006
4:28 pm - Reply or die
Is anybody free on Friday? Let me know one way or another. Like the subject-- reply or die.

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Sunday, December 17th, 2006
1:43 am
I'm bored. When will someone spend time with me?

current mood: bored

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Wednesday, December 6th, 2006
9:26 pm - The Circle of Death
I thought I use to have a brown thumb, but now all my precious mechanical devices are dying. First it was my lovely 1992 Honda Accord which now rests in pieces. Of course I'm not so sad about it now that we have the new 1995 Honda Civic. That Civic makes my Sentra seem like a gas guzzler with its very impressive 36 MPG city. I wanna learn how to drive a stick now... The only thing I really miss about the Accord now is the sunroof. But that's old news. My newest death is very sad indeed. My Xbox 360 is terminally ill. Dead. Unplugging and replugging did not work. Only a year old... So I had to call 1-800-4MY-XBOX. I have to admit that Microsoft impressed me with this one. The voice activation thingy that Microsoft loves to implement didn't piss me off as much as it normally does. When I did get a customer service agent on the line he was very polite, not condescending (unlike Gateway), and actually helpful. So in three to five days I will receive a box. I put good 'ol dead Xbox 360 in its coffin and ship it back (they're supplying a label so I don't have to pay for shipping). Within two weeks I will receive my replacement. I was thrilled with how easy and painless this has been so far. It's nice getting customer service instead of customer no-service every once in a while.

current mood: relieved

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Friday, December 1st, 2006
10:00 pm - Avenge me!
Yeah... so I died... Sorry Michi, you're an orphan now. So hopefully all my pretty princesses will kill people in my memory. In the meantime Heather gave birth to me! So yay!

COMBAT CARDS 2.1
watch happynadia fight
CREATE YOUR CARD
what should i read next


current mood: rejuvenated

(1 comment | comment on this)

3:36 pm - I am now playing Infection, join my Disney Princess Team or the Disney Princesses will die!
infection
my status
my stats
my team status
team stats
infection status
click for details of who is currently infected
game status
click for details of who is currently infected


current mood: amused

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Thursday, November 23rd, 2006
3:17 am - yay for auto piolett like a violet
Yay my brain is in retard mode. I can't even use correct spelling or grammar nor do I even care. I could spell check it but I'm too lazy. Matt put clothes on the bed so when I got home the couches were finally clean but I had no bed to sleep in which sucks. I like my bed, it is comfy. and I really didn't want to put up laundry at freaking 1 in the morning. I would be asleep roght now but I have no bed to sleep in.

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Monday, November 20th, 2006
6:32 am - Dear Santa...I took over the world this year...Heehee!
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In October I ruled Asscrackistan as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). Last Saturday I gave n9rozi a kidney (1000 points). In May I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points). Last Friday I ruled Duluth, Minnesota as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). In January I stole bass4mylord's purse (-30 points).

Overall, I've been nice (989 points). For Christmas I deserve a red Radio-Flyer wagon!

Sincerely,
happynadia

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:


current mood: amused

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Saturday, November 18th, 2006
6:09 pm - Smeady, the sexiest man in the world
Ok this feat was inspired by my friend Ellen. She put a bulletin up on myspace linking to her hot or not page. It seems like everyone has a hot or not page so I should have one too right? Well I'm not that boring. So yes, I made a hot or not page. Only I'm a man!!! Technically I'm not dressed in drag. I'm in my white trash Halloween costume that I wore to Ellen and Ryno's Halloween party. I heart my description when you hover your cursor over my sexy man picture. Ok well most people don't think I'm a very sexy man but I'm amused non-the-less!

http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=AEREN8S&key=TSJ

current mood: amused

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Thursday, November 16th, 2006
10:28 pm - Farewell My Viking
So it ends... Tomorrow I sign my title over to State Farm. Hell that little Honda went through a lot. Two severe accidents and it still ran! But alas I know your fate. To the chop shop you will go. Your title and Carfax dirtied with the word "totaled" no one would buy you at an auction or dealer. And I can't afford your repairs on top of the storage and tear down fees. You were good to me even though our time together was short. You ran smooth, your locks and windows worked, your sunroof never leaked. Fate has ended your life at the ripe age of 15. And you always carried that sweet new car smell despite your age. I will miss you.

R.I.P.
1992 Honda Accord
1HGCB7679NA104672

current mood: morose

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4:04 am - Stolen!
Leaderboard
Create your own friendquiz here

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Sunday, September 24th, 2006
4:57 pm - Kinda Gross
So yeah, last night I was all cranky and stuff. When I got home my right nipple itched like hell. I looked at it and man was it gross. It was super swollen so it was about five times as big as my left nipple and it was oozing pus. Severely grossed me out. I wanted to chop it off. Needless to say there was no sex that night since I don't know if there's much more of a turn off than a swollen nipple dripping pus. I told Matt he knows I truly love him because why else would I show him an pus filled swollen nipple? And everyone who is reading this I love because why else would I let you know about it? Well, I might be slightly evil too.

current mood: gross

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Thursday, September 7th, 2006
5:13 am - If I died tomorrow...
If I died tomorrow would anyone even notice or care? Truth hurts.

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Saturday, August 19th, 2006
2:46 pm - Maybe I'll just be a hermit...
I'm probably going to crash and burn soon even though things seem to be looking up on the outside. I mean, Matt and I just got a beautiful townhome, we're making a dent in moving in finally, the cats are a lot happier, my toe isn't broken-just sprained, I think my ulcer is starting to recover from its relapse, I think the motorcycle lady who pulled out in front of me is okay, and my mom got me awesome presents for my birthday. I guess the bad things are just getting to me. My toe still hurts like a bitch and makes walking very painful. I was able to jog for a very short distance today but I had to angle my right foot in a way so my pinky toe didn't touch the ground and even then it still hurt. Hopefully it'll heal soon. My ulcer still flares up at times and the doctor won't give me anything for pain. I haven't told anyone yet, but my body is sore (I just want them to fix my stomach and toe first). I'm still afraid to drive again but everyone is telling me I have to drive again. I know I have to drive again and I hate that. I'm noticing my self esteem is dropping dramatically. I'm getting really angsty to. I hate it, it's like being a highschooler again. I don't want to get to the point where I was in high school- where I would think of how to kill myself without getting caught and think of several things to do to make sure I died. If I don't want to think like that again maybe I can prevent it. My mom asked me if I wanted therapy, but I don't. Most of the time a unbiased third party opinion really helps, but all I want is someone who actually cares. It kills me how replacable I am. It makes it to where I have no purpose in life for anyone. With friends I can understand. You get busy with work and school, you can't hang out, they hang out and get closer with other people, you grow distant, you get replaced eventually. No big deal. The fact that I know that girlfriend/boyfriend relationships are replacable kills me more than it should. It's probably that sometimes I feel like Matt's the only person who still genuinely cares about me (even though sometimes I wonder...). But if something were to ever happen to Matt and me, he would eventually get over me, get a new girlfriend, and I'd be replaced. Eventhough I'm not replaced right now, the fact that I easily could be really gets to me. That's probably due to my family. The one place that everyone knows they can't be replaced - I got replaced. By my brother's girlfriend, who he's been with for just over a year (the fact that less than 2 years beats out 21 years really pours salt in the wound). It makes me feel worthless. Everyone in my family puts her before me and she's always there at my parents' house. I think my dad even hates her the same way he hates me. My parents' are paying the bills she shares with Rashad. My sister loves her more than she loves me. My mom, her, and my sister had a girls' day out with each other one time and didn't even ask me if I wanted to go. There's no special place in anyone's heart for me. Nadia isn't number one to anybody. And I think I'm not even number one to me. Hell, during the accident a few nights ago I wasn't even like "Why the hell did you pull out in front of me when I had no time to stop and screw up my car; I had the green light damn it." I was so worried and just wanted the lady to be okay and I cried after she left in the ambulance. I didn't even notice that my toe was sprained I was so concerned for her well being. My stomacch started killing me again from all the stress from the worry. Sometimes I wish I cared for nobody but myself. It hurts too much emotionally (and even physically right now)but I can't help it. And I've figured out there's no such thing as kharma. Good things will continue happening to bad people and bad things will continue to happen to good people. Kharma is something that some good people decide to believe in to have hope, and to keep sane. I want to believe in kharma again but it's hard to suspend belief when you know better. It'd be like telling a grown person to believe in the Easter bunny or the tooth fairy. Just when I thought that things couldn't get worse, so they'd have to be starting to get better the accident happened. It was completely out of my control. So who's to say that more bad things out of my control aren't going to happen? That depresses me that there may be no light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe that's just life, but if it is then what's the point of it all?

current mood: depressed

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Thursday, August 17th, 2006
5:17 pm - It's official, God hates me.
I think my toe is broken. I'm going to get an X-ray now.

current mood: crappy

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Wednesday, August 16th, 2006
9:11 pm - Oh Boring Me....
My birthday is tomorrow and I have nothing planned. I'm probably just going to hang out with my mom or something. To tell you the truth, I hate birthdays really. I get lonely, I feel like I have no friends sometimes. I don't know if people's numbers are good any more; when I try to call no one answers or I just plain don't have the numbers. Internet will be set up tomorrow, the Charter technicians are coming so I'll have a little more connection to the outside world. I don't want to be a grown-up.

current mood: blah

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Monday, August 7th, 2006
12:03 am - My chat with Comcast!
Well I moved and guess what? I don't have a monopoly cable company! My new area is served by both Comcast and Charter. Here's my chat with Comcast. I couldn't help but giggle a little.

comcast_guest > Is the live chat even working?
Cody > Hello. Thank you for choosing Comcast. My name is Cody and I will be processing your order. I will be more than happy to answer any questions you have during this process.
comcast_guest > How soon can I get set up?
Cody > I will confirm installation times and dates near the end of the process. Thank you for your patience.
Cody > Can you confirm your address please?
comcast_guest > 2761 northwood court, Marietta GA 30060
Cody > Thank you.
Cody > I do apologize however after searching for your house, I have found that your address is currently not in our records. I will not be able to process your order at this time. You will be required contact your local Comcast office and be added to our database.
Cody > Do you have any more questions I can assist you with today?
comcast_guest > I've tried calling 1-800-COMCAST before and all I get is the run around and customer no-service, is there a store I can go to and talk to someone in person?
Cody > Marietta
270 Cobb Parkway, Suite A-5
Marietta, GA 30064
Phone: 404-266-2278
Hours: Tues-Sat 9:00am-5:00pm
Cody > You can go there and talk to someone or call the office.
Cody > Do you have any more questions I can assist you with today?
comcast_guest > I'm going to be a new Comcast customer and I just moved into my new house, is that why it isn't in your records?
Cody > That is probably why. Many new houses are not in our records yet.
comcast_guest > Should I just go with Charter cable since they service my area as well and I can do everything online?
Cody > I would not recommend Charter cable no.
comcast_guest > Why not?
Cody > Because I am a Comcast representative.
Cody > Do you have any more questions Nadia?
comcast_guest > So there's nothing really bad with Charter then?
Cody > To be honest I am not familiar with Charter's policies and business profile.
Cody > It is completely up to you.
Cody > Do you have any more questions I can assist you with today?
comcast_guest > Any specials I should know about, I guess I could use this extra time to cross-shop between Comcast and Charter.
Cody > Yes there is the Comcast Triple play promotion which is cable,internet,and phone for $99 a month for a year.
Cody > All other promotions are available at www.comcast.com.
Cody > There is too much information for me to paste into the chat.
Cody > Do you have any more questions Nadia?
comcast_guest > That's a lot of money for someone who doesn't really watch TV. Any specials for someone who primarily wants internet?
comcast_guest > I saw a great promotion on broadbandoffers.com for both Comcast and Charter
Cody > Unfortunately there are no promotions at this time for only new internet customers.
Cody > I can only process orders from www.comcast.com. I am unable to process offers from broadbandoffers.com or any other third party sites.
Cody > Do you have any more questions I can assist you with today?
comcast_guest > Ok, I'll look into Charter then. Thank you.
Cody > Thank you for choosing Comcast. Have a great day! If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to chat with Comcast again.
Cody > Analyst has closed chat and left the room

current mood: amused

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Sunday, May 14th, 2006
6:26 pm
Okay, who wants to hang out with me on Tuesday? That's my day off and Matt's going to be at work so the Nadia's going to be all alone. But I suppose all of you like it that way. Everyone is conspiring so I become the world's most rejected social reject. Let's see who I give countries to rule with an iron fist to when I take over the world.

current mood: devious

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Friday, May 12th, 2006
9:21 pm
You know what I don't get? Car bras. They look so stupid. When I was coming back from lunch earlier today there was this little chick behind me in a white car with a car bra. Those things are so gross. All I could think about on my back to work was "what the hell is up with car bras?" On another note I made $200 today. Yay! I'm averaging about $1200 a month gross. Damned taxes take a lot of that away, grumble grumble. Oh well, having money is good. Just wish more people were in the market to buy cars...

current mood: tired

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Saturday, March 4th, 2006
11:55 pm - Conversations that broke my heart... Why can't I keep my pain to myself
TWMFrntman = Matt, Lilaphoenix2021 = Diana
Matt showed me when he realized a big problem was brewing (he driving Diana in her car and Diana talking badly about me behind my back)

Sorry I haven't called anyone. I'm still depressed. I try not to be, we worked things out, but it's hard. I'm still hurt.

Session Start (twmfrntman:Lilaphoenix2021): Sun Jan 22 01:37:55 2006
[01:37] TWMFrntman: hey there
[01:45] TWMFrntman: dini no likey me no more :(
Session Close (Lilaphoenix2021): Sun Jan 22 01:45:21 2006


Session Start (twmfrntman:Lilaphoenix2021): Sun Jan 22 02:27:58 2006
[02:28] TWMFrntman: i have information for you that may determine the fate of the free world--contact me asap!
Session Close (Lilaphoenix2021): Sun Jan 22 02:28:41 2006


Session Start (twmfrntman:Lilaphoenix2021): Fri Jan 27 10:16:07 2006
[10:16] TWMFrntman: hello then
Session Close (Lilaphoenix2021): Fri Jan 27 10:17:36 2006


Session Start (twmfrntman:Lilaphoenix2021): Fri Jan 27 16:02:06 2006
[16:02] Lilaphoenix2021: hello
[16:02] *** Auto-response sent to Lilaphoenix2021: I am currently away from the computer.
[17:37] *** "Lilaphoenix2021" signed off at Fri Jan 27 17:37:56 2006.
[21:30] *** "Lilaphoenix2021" signed on at Fri Jan 27 21:30:05 2006.
[22:52] *** "Lilaphoenix2021" signed off at Fri Jan 27 22:52:34 2006.
[03:35] *** "Lilaphoenix2021" signed on at Sun Jan 29 03:35:42 2006.
[03:37] *** "Lilaphoenix2021" signed off at Sun Jan 29 03:37:45 2006.
Session Close (Lilaphoenix2021): Mon Jan 30 00:25:18 2006


Session Start (twmfrntman:Lilaphoenix2021): Tue Feb 07 00:33:47 2006
[00:34] TWMFrntman: waas sappening
[00:34] Lilaphoenix2021: my new car
[00:34] Lilaphoenix2021: lol
[00:34] TWMFrntman: new car??!?
[00:34] Lilaphoenix2021: yup yup
[00:34] TWMFrntman: i thought dini was poor, though, like atari
[00:34] Lilaphoenix2021: matt's dad is lending me the money
[00:34] Lilaphoenix2021: ^^
[00:35] Lilaphoenix2021: and i'm paying it off slowly
[00:35] Lilaphoenix2021: ^^
[00:35] TWMFrntman: ah, that's very nice of him
[00:35] Lilaphoenix2021: so its a lease with no interest
[00:35] TWMFrntman: VERY nice
[00:35] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[00:35] Lilaphoenix2021: its a 98' Volkswagon Passat
[00:35] Lilaphoenix2021: red
[00:35] Lilaphoenix2021: and manual
[00:35] TWMFrntman: mmm
[00:35] TWMFrntman: fun
[00:36] Lilaphoenix2021: its a beauty
[00:36] TWMFrntman: you found the sweet spot yet?
[00:36] Lilaphoenix2021: yes
[00:36] Lilaphoenix2021: ^^
[00:36] Lilaphoenix2021: i've been driving up hills too
[00:36] Lilaphoenix2021: its pretty easy to drive
[00:36] Lilaphoenix2021: but i can't go on the road yet
[00:37] Lilaphoenix2021: because I'm still in the process of buying insurance
[00:37] TWMFrntman: ah
[00:37] Lilaphoenix2021: yea
[00:37] TWMFrntman: now, the sweet spot is different than the spring pop
[00:38] Lilaphoenix2021: huh?
[00:38] TWMFrntman: the sweet spot is the rpm where the tranny is turning just fast enough to drop into the next gear, but not so fast that you have to use the clutch
[00:39] TWMFrntman: so, in other words, it's the spot on the tachometer where you can just slide into a higher gear without using much (if any) clutch movement
[00:40] TWMFrntman: making loss of speed due to shifting negligible
[00:40] Lilaphoenix2021: yea I know what the sweet spot is
[00:40] TWMFrntman: oh, ok
[00:40] TWMFrntman: just checking
[00:40] Lilaphoenix2021: you were talking about a "spring pop"
[00:40] Lilaphoenix2021: i didn't know what that is
[00:41] TWMFrntman: oh, spring pop, the exact point on the clutch where the spring "pops"--being just enough pressure to shift effectively
[00:41] Lilaphoenix2021: ah yea
[00:41] Lilaphoenix2021: its pretty easy in this car
[00:41] TWMFrntman: yeah, it's a hydraulic clutch system, so i imagine it would be
[00:42] TWMFrntman: hydraulic or pneumatic--i'm not sure
[00:43] TWMFrntman: any way, enough cah tawk
[00:44] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[00:44] Lilaphoenix2021: you guys get to see it soon I hope
[00:44] Lilaphoenix2021: its my new pride and joy
[00:44] TWMFrntman: he he
[00:44] TWMFrntman: we'll race sometime :) nadia's sentra versus your vw
[00:45] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[00:45] Lilaphoenix2021: no competition
[00:45] Lilaphoenix2021: mine would win hands down
[00:45] Lilaphoenix2021: lol
[00:46] Lilaphoenix2021: how much horse power does her's have?
[00:52] Lilaphoenix2021: where is your girl?
[00:52] TWMFrntman: asleep
[00:53] Lilaphoenix2021: ahh
[00:53] Lilaphoenix2021: we haven't talked in a while
[00:53] TWMFrntman: yeah
[00:53] Lilaphoenix2021: just wondering how everything was going for her
[00:53] TWMFrntman: she's been busy with work
[00:53] Lilaphoenix2021: ahh yea
[00:53] Lilaphoenix2021: i've been busy with school and partying ><
[00:54] Lilaphoenix2021: and trying to get a new car
[00:54] Lilaphoenix2021: ^^
[00:54] Lilaphoenix2021: which i have now accomplished
[00:54] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[00:55] TWMFrntman: partying??
[00:55] Lilaphoenix2021: yea
[00:55] Lilaphoenix2021: and clubbing
[00:55] Lilaphoenix2021: and a little drinking
[00:55] TWMFrntman: i thought you didn't like alcohol
[00:56] Lilaphoenix2021: hmmm...yea I like some of it
[00:56] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[00:56] Lilaphoenix2021: especially stuff from Ecuador
[00:57] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[00:57] Lilaphoenix2021: just think dini + car = trouble
[00:57] Lilaphoenix2021: lol
[00:58] Lilaphoenix2021: its true
[00:58] TWMFrntman: just don't drink and drive and you'll be ok
[00:58] Lilaphoenix2021: oh yea
[00:58] Lilaphoenix2021: i don't do that
[00:58] Lilaphoenix2021: ^^
[00:58] Lilaphoenix2021: i don't drink that much *^^*
[00:58] TWMFrntman: if you can drive my van, you'll be fine in anything short of a semi
[00:58] Lilaphoenix2021: just to enough to make me happy
[00:59] TWMFrntman: right
[00:59] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[00:59] TWMFrntman: just don't get in trouble
[01:00] Lilaphoenix2021: i'm not
[01:00] Lilaphoenix2021: i'm still a good girl at heart
[01:00] TWMFrntman: okie dokie
[01:00] TWMFrntman: i just gotta watch out for ya ;)
[01:00] TWMFrntman: just like i watch out for all my ladies
[01:01] TWMFrntman: and yes, i do watch out for nadia (contrary to what she might say)
[01:02] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[01:04] Lilaphoenix2021: you're a good boyfriend
[01:04] TWMFrntman: i try
[01:04] TWMFrntman: i'll have to quote you on that some time
[01:04] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[01:04] Lilaphoenix2021: ok
[01:05] Lilaphoenix2021: i've never had you as a bf but from what i've observed you're good *^^*
[01:05] TWMFrntman: oh, perhaps in a different time and a different place, we might have known
[01:05] TWMFrntman: j/k
[01:05] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[01:07] TWMFrntman: you and her could just trade matts for like a month or so ;)
[01:08] Lilaphoenix2021: they would drive each other crazy
[01:08] Lilaphoenix2021: trust me
[01:08] Lilaphoenix2021: she and i are both leos
[01:08] TWMFrntman: yeah
[01:08] Lilaphoenix2021: and he is a taurus
[01:08] Lilaphoenix2021: he is stuborn
[01:08] Lilaphoenix2021: and so am I
[01:08] Lilaphoenix2021: but I can controll it
[01:08] Lilaphoenix2021: i don't know if she can
[01:08] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[01:08] TWMFrntman: yeah, i was about to say "how the hell does that work?"
[01:09] Lilaphoenix2021: controll stuborness?
[01:09] TWMFrntman: taurus + leo
[01:10] Lilaphoenix2021: most of the time it works
[01:10] Lilaphoenix2021: but at times it gets kinda crazy
[01:10] TWMFrntman: i can imagine
[01:10] Lilaphoenix2021: yea
[01:10] TWMFrntman: like aries + leo
[01:11] Lilaphoenix2021: yea
[01:11] TWMFrntman: fire feeds fire, but sometimes it blazes out of control
[01:11] Lilaphoenix2021: yup
[01:12] TWMFrntman: oh well
[01:12] TWMFrntman: i guess we figure it out
[01:13] Lilaphoenix2021: where the balance is?
[01:13] Lilaphoenix2021: matt is a earth sign and i'm a fixed fire sign
[01:13] TWMFrntman: something like that
[01:14] Lilaphoenix2021: they are not a match
[01:14] Lilaphoenix2021: and sometimes I believe it
[01:14] Lilaphoenix2021: and at other times
[01:14] Lilaphoenix2021: it seems so right
[01:15] TWMFrntman: maybe it's like cyclical theory--so far off base that it's spot on
[01:15] Lilaphoenix2021: i talked to a lot of people about this
[01:15] Lilaphoenix2021: who have seen matt and I together
[01:15] Lilaphoenix2021: and most of them seem to say
[01:15] Lilaphoenix2021: that we are no match
[01:15] Lilaphoenix2021: that i'm too social
[01:15] Lilaphoenix2021: and he is too quiet
[01:16] TWMFrntman: i've noticed that
[01:16] Lilaphoenix2021: sometimes I want that someone who can share my spotlight
[01:16] Lilaphoenix2021: I met this guy at a club one night
[01:16] Lilaphoenix2021: and most of the people that see us together think that we are bf and gf
[01:16] Lilaphoenix2021: because we both have that powerful energy
[01:16] TWMFrntman: yeah
[01:17] Lilaphoenix2021: but in the back of my mind i'm taking it slow
[01:17] Lilaphoenix2021: to see if the guy is for real
[01:17] Lilaphoenix2021: or if she is just playing me
[01:17] Lilaphoenix2021: or if this feeling is just excitment
[01:17] Lilaphoenix2021: of something new
[01:17] Lilaphoenix2021: you know
[01:17] TWMFrntman: yeah
[01:17] Lilaphoenix2021: I definitely think that the other guy seem to have more in common than matt and I do
[01:18] TWMFrntman: i have to stay very guarded around a lot of my female friends for the same reason
[01:18] Lilaphoenix2021: because they are attracted to you or vice versa?
[01:19] TWMFrntman: something like that
[01:19] Lilaphoenix2021: ahh yes
[01:19] Lilaphoenix2021: i've been there
[01:19] Lilaphoenix2021: and to this point
[01:19] Lilaphoenix2021: i'm taking things slow
[01:19] Lilaphoenix2021: before I make another move
[01:19] TWMFrntman: just be careful
[01:19] Lilaphoenix2021: oh yes
[01:19] Lilaphoenix2021: if anything I'll be single
[01:19] Lilaphoenix2021: would that be so bad?
[01:20] Lilaphoenix2021: no
[01:20] Lilaphoenix2021: I would rather enjoy that
[01:20] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[01:20] TWMFrntman: i think about the "what ifs" a lot, but i don't think i could bring myself to (1) hurt nadia, or (2) lose a really good thing
[01:20] Lilaphoenix2021: yup
[01:20] Lilaphoenix2021: i'm in that state
[01:21] Lilaphoenix2021: its driving me crazy
[01:22] Lilaphoenix2021: should I listen to my friends again
[01:22] Lilaphoenix2021: they were right with joe
[01:22] TWMFrntman: i think you should just follow your heart
[01:22] Lilaphoenix2021: my heart is too clouded
[01:23] TWMFrntman: yeah
[01:23] TWMFrntman: i hear ya
[01:23] Lilaphoenix2021: and so is my head
[01:23] TWMFrntman: been there
[01:23] Lilaphoenix2021: so i'm trying to talk to my friends and see what they say
[01:23] Lilaphoenix2021: and ofcourse talking to matt
[01:23] Lilaphoenix2021: about what i need at the moment
[01:23] TWMFrntman: yeah
[01:23] Lilaphoenix2021: because he sees me so sad
[01:23] Lilaphoenix2021: and I don't know how or what to tell him
[01:23] Lilaphoenix2021: without hurting his feelings
[01:24] TWMFrntman: yeah, the jagged cliff-edge of a breakup--i've been there
[01:24] TWMFrntman: it's no fun
[01:24] TWMFrntman: or that fork in the road
[01:24] Lilaphoenix2021: yup
[01:25] TWMFrntman: you know where you've been, but you can't see over the horizon in either direction
[01:25] Lilaphoenix2021: yup
[01:25] Lilaphoenix2021: so honestly
[01:26] Lilaphoenix2021: does matt seem like the type of guy who can light my fire?
[01:26] TWMFrntman: he doesn't seem like the type of guy who can light any kind of fire
[01:26] TWMFrntman: nothing against him--he's a great guy
[01:26] TWMFrntman: he's just very quiet
[01:26] TWMFrntman: very reserved
[01:27] TWMFrntman: he reminds me of chris
[01:27] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[01:27] Lilaphoenix2021: i like it
[01:28] Lilaphoenix2021: sometimes
[01:28] Lilaphoenix2021: but i'm afraid that I really like the other guy
[01:28] Lilaphoenix2021: because he is what I'm looking for
[01:28] Lilaphoenix2021: you know
[01:28] Lilaphoenix2021: the guy that opens the door for the lady
[01:28] Lilaphoenix2021: that type of stuff
[01:28] TWMFrntman: the grass is always greener, trust me
[01:28] Lilaphoenix2021: i really like that
[01:28] Lilaphoenix2021: and I told matt that I like that
[01:28] Lilaphoenix2021: but...he doesn't do it
[01:29] Lilaphoenix2021: i feel like i'm taking care of him
[01:29] TWMFrntman: yeah
[01:29] Lilaphoenix2021: when in my head I like to be taken care of
[01:29] TWMFrntman: kinda like how i was a few weeks ago
[01:29] Lilaphoenix2021: do tell
[01:29] TWMFrntman: nadia and i were at our wits ends because of all the crap that was just coming down around us
[01:30] TWMFrntman: fortunately, we were able to pull ourselves together--with a complete paradigm shift
[01:31] Lilaphoenix2021: thats good
[01:31] Lilaphoenix2021: i know you guys have opposite schedules
[01:31] TWMFrntman: nadia is working full time now, and i'm back in school full time
[01:31] Lilaphoenix2021: ahh ok
[01:31] TWMFrntman: yeah
[01:31] Lilaphoenix2021: must be hard on both of you
[01:31] TWMFrntman: i walked out of wal-mart when they refused to give me holiday pay
[01:32] Lilaphoenix2021: they didn't O.o
[01:32] TWMFrntman: yeah, it was incredibly hard
[01:32] TWMFrntman: nope
[01:32] Lilaphoenix2021: ><
[01:32] Lilaphoenix2021: screw them they lost a good worker
[01:32] TWMFrntman: lol
[01:32] TWMFrntman: well, it wasn't a total loss
[01:33] Lilaphoenix2021: you got some money out of it
[01:33] Lilaphoenix2021: serves them straight
[01:34] TWMFrntman: no kidding
[01:35] Lilaphoenix2021: well, at least you're back in school
[01:35] TWMFrntman: yeah
[01:35] Lilaphoenix2021: matt is going back to school hopefully in the summer
[01:35] TWMFrntman: cool
[01:35] TWMFrntman: this is the happiest i've been in a long time
[01:36] Lilaphoenix2021: thats good to hear
[01:36] Lilaphoenix2021: because i know you weren't too happy with the jobs
[01:36] TWMFrntman: nope
[01:36] TWMFrntman: i was ready to get back to school, but had to wait for nadia to finish
[01:37] Lilaphoenix2021: and she is not done yet, right?
[01:37] TWMFrntman: no, she ducked out for a while
[01:37] TWMFrntman: she's on academic probation
[01:37] Lilaphoenix2021: ok, i hope she goes back soon and finishes it because I know she is pretty close to getting done
[01:38] TWMFrntman: yeah, she's going to drop student status and reenroll to drop all her Fs
[01:40] Lilaphoenix2021: i hope that works out of her
[01:40] TWMFrntman: so do i
[01:42] TWMFrntman: hmm...if it weren't 20 mins til 2, i'd ask if you wanna get a cup of coffee or something
[01:42] Lilaphoenix2021: when do you have school?
[01:42] TWMFrntman: 5pm
[01:42] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe I have one at 9:30am
[01:42] TWMFrntman: ouch
[01:42] Lilaphoenix2021: and then not again till 6:30
[01:43] TWMFrntman: oh, so you've got that nap time there
[01:43] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[01:43] Lilaphoenix2021: i don't go to bed until 3 or 4
[01:43] Lilaphoenix2021: ><
[01:43] Lilaphoenix2021: which is bad
[01:43] TWMFrntman: yeah
[01:43] Lilaphoenix2021: but I just can't get my self to go to sleep before that
[01:43] Lilaphoenix2021: even if I had a really long day
[01:43] TWMFrntman: yeah, i'm like that sometimes
[01:43] Lilaphoenix2021: its kinda weird
[01:44] TWMFrntman: i shoulda gone to bed 2 hours ago, but i got to talking to some old friends
[01:44] TWMFrntman: catching up, you know
[01:44] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe like me
[01:44] TWMFrntman: yeah
[01:45] TWMFrntman: he he
[01:46] Lilaphoenix2021: we should get some coffee sometime
[01:46] TWMFrntman: we should
[01:46] Lilaphoenix2021: maybe this time I can meet you half way
[01:46] Lilaphoenix2021: *^^*
[01:46] TWMFrntman: lol
[01:46] TWMFrntman: maybe
[01:46] TWMFrntman: 'cept there really isn't much halfway
[01:46] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[01:50] TWMFrntman: so anyway
[01:51] TWMFrntman: wal-mart sucks, school rules, dini in choppy seas with new car
[01:51] Lilaphoenix2021: yup
[01:52] Lilaphoenix2021: pretty much
[01:52] Lilaphoenix2021: ahh life goes on
[01:52] TWMFrntman: o-bla-di, o-bla-da
[01:52] Lilaphoenix2021: i hehe
[01:52] Lilaphoenix2021: *breathes*
[01:53] TWMFrntman: and as long as the breathing doesn't get heavier, we'll both stay out of trouble
[01:53] Lilaphoenix2021: yea
[01:53] TWMFrntman: hmm...maybe we should scratch that from the record
[01:53] Lilaphoenix2021: *^^*
[01:54] Lilaphoenix2021: i just got that one ><
[01:54] TWMFrntman: that's what i mean by i have to be guarded
[01:55] Lilaphoenix2021: aaah
[01:55] Lilaphoenix2021: yes
[01:55] TWMFrntman: 'cos i end up being myself which ALWAYS ends up in casual flirtation--even if i don't intend for it
[01:57] TWMFrntman: i'll say it, then have to retract the statement with a halfway embarassed "ooohhh, naw, not really--just kidding!"
[01:57] TWMFrntman: but that's only when it ends up reciprocated
[01:57] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[01:57] Lilaphoenix2021: we're both pretty open people
[01:57] TWMFrntman: yeah
[01:58] TWMFrntman: very different from the way i grew up
[01:59] Lilaphoenix2021: yea me too
[01:59] TWMFrntman: i was one of those kids that sent the little paper note "do you like me? please check yes or no"
[01:59] Lilaphoenix2021: i was so shy and quiet
[01:59] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[01:59] Lilaphoenix2021: me too!!!
[01:59] Lilaphoenix2021: lol
[02:00] TWMFrntman: heh
[02:00] Lilaphoenix2021: *^^*
[02:00] TWMFrntman: like i said, perhaps in a different universe....
[02:00] TWMFrntman: but no
[02:00] TWMFrntman: you see, there i go again
[02:01] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[02:01] Lilaphoenix2021: its all good
[02:01] Lilaphoenix2021: no worries
[02:01] TWMFrntman: i'm going to get in some serious trouble--either with you or nadia...or both
[02:01] TWMFrntman: i'm more worried about nadia because she hits harder
[02:01] Lilaphoenix2021: I don't hit
[02:01] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[02:02] Lilaphoenix2021: i can if you want me to ;-)
[02:02] Lilaphoenix2021: lol
[02:02] Lilaphoenix2021: j/k
[02:02] TWMFrntman: hey, now, don't encourage me
[02:02] Lilaphoenix2021: *falls off chair*
[02:02] TWMFrntman: *virtual helping hand*
[02:02] Lilaphoenix2021: thanks *^^*
[02:03] TWMFrntman: don't mention it---to anybody
[02:03] Lilaphoenix2021: *zips lips*
[02:04] TWMFrntman: i'm going to have to destroy the log of this conversation as it is
[02:04] Lilaphoenix2021: awww
[02:04] Lilaphoenix2021: she checks for it??
[02:04] TWMFrntman: no, but if it were to fall in the wrong hands....
[02:04] Lilaphoenix2021: >.>
[02:04] Lilaphoenix2021: yea
[02:04] Lilaphoenix2021: ok
[02:04] Lilaphoenix2021: I'm not worried about anything
[02:04] Lilaphoenix2021: because i have A car
[02:04] Lilaphoenix2021: lol
[02:05] TWMFrntman: lol
[02:06] TWMFrntman: besides, it would never work out
[02:07] Lilaphoenix2021: huh?
[02:07] TWMFrntman: nevermind
[02:07] Lilaphoenix2021: u and I
[02:08] TWMFrntman: ...
[02:08] Lilaphoenix2021: >.>
[02:08] Lilaphoenix2021: i'm lost
[02:08] TWMFrntman: good
[02:08] Lilaphoenix2021: O.o
[02:08] TWMFrntman: just take my word for it, nevermind
[02:08] Lilaphoenix2021: ><
[02:08] Lilaphoenix2021: blah to you
[02:08] TWMFrntman: blah?
[02:08] TWMFrntman: to me?
[02:09] TWMFrntman: why blah to me?
[02:09] Lilaphoenix2021: yea
[02:09] Lilaphoenix2021: ...
[02:09] Lilaphoenix2021: just blah
[02:09] Lilaphoenix2021: for leaving me in the dark
[02:09] TWMFrntman: sorry
[02:09] Lilaphoenix2021: BLAH!!
[02:09] TWMFrntman: if you really want to, i can go back and say what i was going to say, but i don't think it would be prudent
[02:10] Lilaphoenix2021: *shrug* its up to you
[02:10] Lilaphoenix2021: i'm a open book
[02:11] Lilaphoenix2021: and you're only semi open
[02:11] Lilaphoenix2021: *^^*
[02:11] Lilaphoenix2021: which is fine
[02:11] TWMFrntman: i just don't want to overstep my boundaries and make things awkward
[02:11] TWMFrntman: again, going back to being guarded
[02:12] Lilaphoenix2021: up to you
[02:12] TWMFrntman: feh, what the hell
[02:13] TWMFrntman: "besides, it would never work out"
[02:13] Lilaphoenix2021: ok
[02:14] TWMFrntman: i have too much of a vested interest with nadia--it would end up just being an affair or something of the sort, loyalties would be tested, people would get very seriously hurt
[02:15] Lilaphoenix2021: yup
[02:15] TWMFrntman: and that's where i was going with that
[02:15] Lilaphoenix2021: ooh
[02:15] TWMFrntman: which is why i said nevermind
[02:15] Lilaphoenix2021: no one is looking for trouble
[02:15] Lilaphoenix2021: you should of just said that
[02:15] Lilaphoenix2021: lol
[02:16] Lilaphoenix2021: no hurt behind that
[02:16] Lilaphoenix2021: silly matt
[02:16] TWMFrntman: you see what i get myself into
[02:16] TWMFrntman: i'm like a freaking high schooler--creating all kinds of drama in my head
[02:16] TWMFrntman: but at least i've got the good sense to know it's just drama and not to act on it
[02:17] Lilaphoenix2021: it is mostly in your head which is fine
[02:17] TWMFrntman: mostly?
[02:17] Lilaphoenix2021: i guess I just kinda say what is in my head
[02:17] Lilaphoenix2021: but not in the back of my head
[02:17] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[02:17] TWMFrntman: now that sparks curiousity....
[02:17] Lilaphoenix2021: does it now?
[02:18] TWMFrntman: it's like an onion of the psyche, we're just peeling the layers away from each other's id
[02:19] Lilaphoenix2021: yea but if we ever get to the center is all a matter of time
[02:19] TWMFrntman: and we might not like what we find
[02:19] Lilaphoenix2021: very true
[02:21] TWMFrntman: sometimes, though, i feel like nadia is losing interest in me
[02:21] Lilaphoenix2021: that could be do to a lot of things though
[02:21] TWMFrntman: true
[02:21] Lilaphoenix2021: and all in your perception of things
[02:21] TWMFrntman: yeah
[02:22] Lilaphoenix2021: matt had the same feeling
[02:22] Lilaphoenix2021: but in the end it was just my period
[02:22] Lilaphoenix2021: *^^*
[02:22] TWMFrntman: lol
[02:23] TWMFrntman: it could just be my paranoia
[02:23] Lilaphoenix2021: yea as long as things are going well now and its not on going then you should be ok
[02:23] TWMFrntman: yeah
[02:24] TWMFrntman: i just haven't been 100% sure of anything since early january
[02:25] Lilaphoenix2021: can you elaborate? if no..no biggy
[02:25] TWMFrntman: when everything hit rock bottom--it was do or die
[02:25] TWMFrntman: it was either "well, it's been fun..." or "let's get this train back on the rails"
[02:25] Lilaphoenix2021: ahh
[02:26] Lilaphoenix2021: i hit that just a few weeks ago
[02:26] Lilaphoenix2021: but somehow
[02:26] Lilaphoenix2021: everything had a turn around
[02:26] TWMFrntman: yeah
[02:26] Lilaphoenix2021: i don't know what happened
[02:26] Lilaphoenix2021: i cried all night
[02:26] Lilaphoenix2021: and the next day
[02:26] Lilaphoenix2021: like nothing happened
[02:26] Lilaphoenix2021: only my puffy eyes were there as a reminder of what had happened
[02:27] TWMFrntman: yeah, that's kinda like us
[02:28] TWMFrntman: she said i wasn't the man she fell in love with, i said i didn't know what i wanted anymore other than to not be where i was
[02:28] Lilaphoenix2021: you guys have been going out for a year now?
[02:29] TWMFrntman: 2
[02:29] TWMFrntman: almost 3
[02:29] Lilaphoenix2021: wow its pretty out there
[02:29] Lilaphoenix2021: i'm only 8mon. in
[02:29] TWMFrntman: yeah
[02:30] Lilaphoenix2021: and I already have the question " are you the one for me?" "are you right?"
[02:30] Lilaphoenix2021: so at this moment
[02:30] Lilaphoenix2021: i need something
[02:30] Lilaphoenix2021: a good clear sign
[02:30] Lilaphoenix2021: but i'm not getting a signal
[02:30] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[02:30] Lilaphoenix2021: *sigh*
[02:30] TWMFrntman: well, sugar, it'd be fun, but it ain't me ;)
[02:30] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[02:31] TWMFrntman: i did NOT just SAY THAT!!!
[02:31] Lilaphoenix2021: say what? ;-)
[02:31] TWMFrntman: dammit, i'm getting myself all muddled here
[02:31] TWMFrntman: at least this is just text
[02:32] Lilaphoenix2021: matt you're fine
[02:32] Lilaphoenix2021: you're freaking too much
[02:32] TWMFrntman: maybe
[02:32] Lilaphoenix2021: its not like you
[02:33] TWMFrntman: i'm opening doors that don't get opened a lot
[02:33] TWMFrntman: and for good reason
[02:33] TWMFrntman: i think it's the whole text thing, i wouldn't be like this in person
[02:34] Lilaphoenix2021: you're not doing anything wrong in my opinion
[02:36] TWMFrntman: i think i need a beer
[02:36] Lilaphoenix2021: we should of hung out tonight *^^*
[02:38] TWMFrntman: *stares at shoes*
[02:38] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[02:38] Lilaphoenix2021: you still have time if you change your mind
[02:38] TWMFrntman: you're encouraging me
[02:39] Lilaphoenix2021: hmmm...if you don't want thats cool to
[02:39] TWMFrntman: oh, i do, but the question if whether i should or not
[02:39] Lilaphoenix2021: if Nadia would mind or not?
[02:40] TWMFrntman: nadia's asleep, she would probably never know
[02:40] Lilaphoenix2021: simple as this
[02:40] Lilaphoenix2021: wanna hang or no
[02:40] TWMFrntman: screw it! i'll be there in 10 or so
[02:40] Lilaphoenix2021: lol
[02:40] Lilaphoenix2021: ok
Session Close (Lilaphoenix2021): Tue Feb 07 02:40:56 2006


Session Start (twmfrntman:Lilaphoenix2021): Tue Feb 07 02:40:58 2006
[02:40] Lilaphoenix2021: i'll put some pants on
[02:40] Lilaphoenix2021: lol
[02:41] Lilaphoenix2021: i didn't say that
[02:41] Lilaphoenix2021: ><
[02:41] Lilaphoenix2021: ahh
[02:41] TWMFrntman: good, because i was about to say something else
[02:41] Lilaphoenix2021: *zips lips*
Session Close (Lilaphoenix2021): Tue Feb 07 02:41:35 2006


Session Start (twmfrntman:Lilaphoenix2021): Fri Feb 10 23:45:50 2006
[23:46] TWMFrntman: grr...i'm bored
[23:46] Lilaphoenix2021: fuck yea I know what you mean
[23:46] Lilaphoenix2021: driving sucks
[23:46] TWMFrntman: one can only take so much ebaum's world....
[23:46] Lilaphoenix2021: in traffic
[23:46] Lilaphoenix2021: but I got a lot of experience in
[23:50] TWMFrntman: cool
[00:12] *** "Lilaphoenix2021" signed off at Sat Feb 11 00:12:06 2006.
Session Close (Lilaphoenix2021): Sat Feb 11 00:38:54 2006


Session Start (twmfrntman:Lilaphoenix2021): Tue Feb 14 02:14:11 2006
[02:14] TWMFrntman: hello
Session Close (Lilaphoenix2021): Tue Feb 14 02:23:37 2006


Session Start (twmfrntman:Lilaphoenix2021): Tue Feb 14 03:37:02 2006
[03:37] Lilaphoenix2021: hi
[03:37] *** Auto-response sent to Lilaphoenix2021: I am currently away from the computer.
[03:45] *** "Lilaphoenix2021" signed off at Tue Feb 14 03:45:43 2006.
[11:20] *** "Lilaphoenix2021" signed on at Tue Feb 14 11:20:57 2006.
[11:54] *** "Lilaphoenix2021" signed off at Tue Feb 14 11:54:06 2006.
[12:10] *** "Lilaphoenix2021" signed on at Tue Feb 14 12:10:43 2006.
[17:56] *** "Lilaphoenix2021" signed off at Tue Feb 14 17:56:02 2006.
Session Close (Lilaphoenix2021): Tue Feb 14 19:29:14 2006


Session Start (twmfrntman:Lilaphoenix2021): Wed Feb 15 23:40:20 2006
[23:40] TWMFrntman: hallo!
[23:40] Lilaphoenix2021: wie gehts?
[23:41] TWMFrntman: nichts viel
[23:41] Lilaphoenix2021: mir gehts schlecht
[23:43] TWMFrntman: ich kann nicht Deutsches sprechen
[23:43] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[23:43] Lilaphoenix2021: its fine
[23:44] Lilaphoenix2021: I'm feeling pretty crappy
[23:44] Lilaphoenix2021: been feeling sick since sunday
[23:44] TWMFrntman: aww
[23:44] TWMFrntman: pobre dinita
[23:44] Lilaphoenix2021: yea i came down with a high fever
[23:44] TWMFrntman: that's been going around a bit
[23:45] Lilaphoenix2021: i came home sunday night
[23:45] Lilaphoenix2021: and then when I started to feel pretty bad
[23:45] Lilaphoenix2021: started with a soar throat and then i got the sniffles
[23:45] TWMFrntman: hope it isn't strep
[23:45] Lilaphoenix2021: its not
[23:45] TWMFrntman: ok
[23:45] TWMFrntman: good
[23:46] TWMFrntman: nadia had a sore throat yesterday
[23:46] TWMFrntman: my little sis came down with strep
[23:46] TWMFrntman: it is that time of year
[23:46] Lilaphoenix2021: eep
[23:46] Lilaphoenix2021: i never liked feburary
[23:46] TWMFrntman: stupid winter
[23:47] Lilaphoenix2021: yup
[23:47] Lilaphoenix2021: *sneezes*
[23:49] TWMFrntman: hanky?
[23:49] Lilaphoenix2021: nah i'm good
[23:49] Lilaphoenix2021: ^^
[23:49] TWMFrntman: hanky panky?
[23:49] Lilaphoenix2021: nah too tired
[23:49] TWMFrntman: aww
[23:50] Lilaphoenix2021: I can barely open doors
[23:50] Lilaphoenix2021: v.v
[23:50] TWMFrntman: ouch
[23:50] TWMFrntman: nicht gute
[23:50] Lilaphoenix2021: *gut*
[23:50] TWMFrntman: somehow, i thought that was correct
[23:51] Lilaphoenix2021: you just used it in the wrong context
[23:52] TWMFrntman: ah
[23:55] TWMFrntman: so how's the new fella?
[23:55] Lilaphoenix2021: not so sure any more
[23:55] Lilaphoenix2021: we had a small "fight"
[23:56] Lilaphoenix2021: i told him how I felt about a few things
[23:56] Lilaphoenix2021: and so did he
[23:56] Lilaphoenix2021: we're still in "love"
[23:56] Lilaphoenix2021: or something like it
[23:56] Lilaphoenix2021: he said he is leaving in June to see his family in Ecuador
[23:56] Lilaphoenix2021: and I told him that he is prob not coming back
[23:56] Lilaphoenix2021: and he didn't say anything
[23:56] Lilaphoenix2021: *sigh*
[23:56] Lilaphoenix2021: so I have a feeling that I'm going to get my heart broken pretty soon
[23:57] TWMFrntman: aww, poor dini
[23:57] TWMFrntman: :(
[23:57] Lilaphoenix2021: I just wish I got a clue of what to do
[23:58] Lilaphoenix2021: at this moment I just want to cry
[23:59] TWMFrntman: i got a couple shoulders if you need to borrow one
[23:59] TWMFrntman: but, like i said, be careful about those people you meet at the club
[23:59] Lilaphoenix2021: yea I know
[23:59] Lilaphoenix2021: I just wish he would show me a sign
[23:59] Lilaphoenix2021: he is so quiet about his feelings
[00:00] Lilaphoenix2021: but he says if he didn't like me the way he does then we wouldn't be the way we are now
[00:00] Lilaphoenix2021: he seems so sad to me
[00:00] Lilaphoenix2021: because he is so close to his family
[00:00] Lilaphoenix2021: and they are in ecuador
[00:00] Lilaphoenix2021: and I'm here
[00:00] Lilaphoenix2021: now
[00:00] TWMFrntman: well, i can't tell you one way or another
[00:00] Lilaphoenix2021: and he doesn't seem to show me that same feeling
[00:00] Lilaphoenix2021: i don't know if he is happy when i come over
[00:01] TWMFrntman: all i can do is offer disinterested opinions
[00:01] Lilaphoenix2021: i sometimes feel its pointless coming over
[00:01] Lilaphoenix2021: because he will say
[00:01] Lilaphoenix2021: " i don't have money and there is nothing to do, but if you want to you can"
[00:01] Lilaphoenix2021: makes me feel like the only reason i'm coming over is because he has money
[00:02] Lilaphoenix2021: >< which is not the reason
[00:02] Lilaphoenix2021: i'm not a gold digger
[00:02] Lilaphoenix2021: v.v
[00:02] Lilaphoenix2021: *cries*
[00:02] TWMFrntman: *hug*
[00:03] Lilaphoenix2021: i need a big sign of what to do
[00:03] Lilaphoenix2021: >< I don't know what to do any more
[00:03] Lilaphoenix2021: i don't want to waste any more time
[00:03] Lilaphoenix2021: on something that is not going to be
[00:03] TWMFrntman: i think i already see one, but that's just my opinion
[00:05] Lilaphoenix2021: i know i've been a good influence on him in some ways
[00:05] Lilaphoenix2021: according to his roommate
[00:06] TWMFrntman: previous girlfriends were good influences to me....
[00:09] TWMFrntman: truth is, everyone we interact influences us in some way
[00:09] Lilaphoenix2021: yea I know
[00:10] TWMFrntman: i'm not trying to be a bummer, i'm just trying to help you stay objective
[00:10] Lilaphoenix2021: yea I know
[00:10] Lilaphoenix2021: he just misses his family so much
[00:10] Lilaphoenix2021: i just want him to kinda think that there is a here and now
[00:10] Lilaphoenix2021: and not to take me for grated
[00:11] Lilaphoenix2021: because thats the vibe i'm getting now
[00:12] TWMFrntman: that he's taking you for granted?
[00:12] Lilaphoenix2021: yea
[00:13] TWMFrntman: i can dig it
[00:19] TWMFrntman: just be careful
[00:19] Lilaphoenix2021: yea I know
[00:19] Lilaphoenix2021: I'm trying to be
[00:20] TWMFrntman: how long you known this fella?
[00:20] Lilaphoenix2021: 2 mon.
[00:20] TWMFrntman: 2 months
[00:20] Lilaphoenix2021: ya
[00:20] TWMFrntman: mostly hanging at the clubs?
[00:21] Lilaphoenix2021: nah
[00:21] Lilaphoenix2021: mostly just hanging out with each other at the house (mine or his) who ever has gas
[00:21] Lilaphoenix2021: and sometimes go to the club if we have money
[00:21] TWMFrntman: ah
[00:30] TWMFrntman: i dunno what to tell ya, kid
[00:46] TWMFrntman: still there?
[00:46] Lilaphoenix2021: yea
[00:46] Lilaphoenix2021: v.v
[00:48] TWMFrntman: sorry i can't really come up with anything else?
[00:48] Lilaphoenix2021: its fine
[00:48] Lilaphoenix2021: love sucks
[00:49] TWMFrntman: i think it's "love stinks, yeah, yeah"
[00:49] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe yup
[00:56] TWMFrntman: ah, a laugh, good
[00:59] TWMFrntman: laughter is a good thing
[01:00] Lilaphoenix2021: yea
[01:00] Lilaphoenix2021: ^^
[01:07] TWMFrntman: you know, i've been jonesing to start sketching again
[01:07] Lilaphoenix2021: seems like a lot of people are
[01:07] Lilaphoenix2021: except me
[01:07] Lilaphoenix2021: i've had no craving
[01:08] TWMFrntman: i can understand why
[01:08] TWMFrntman: losing direction
[01:08] TWMFrntman: heart and soul being torn asunder
[01:10] TWMFrntman: time heals all wounds, to borrow a cliche
[01:11] Lilaphoenix2021: i certainly hope so
[01:11] Lilaphoenix2021: i'm ready for something new
[01:11] TWMFrntman: my advice--don't look for it
[01:11] TWMFrntman: let it find you
[01:12] TWMFrntman: just enjoy the ride
[01:13] TWMFrntman: you'll appreciate it much more when it comes
[01:13] TWMFrntman: it's hard--you and i are similar that way, we get in quick and deep and hang on for dear life
[01:16] TWMFrntman: trying to make every one "the one"
[01:16] Lilaphoenix2021: *sigh*
[01:16] Lilaphoenix2021: I just want something stable
[01:16] TWMFrntman: i know
[01:18] TWMFrntman: don't force it
[01:19] Lilaphoenix2021: i can't help it
[01:19] TWMFrntman: since i've known you, it's never been "diana"--it's always been "diana and..."
[01:19] Lilaphoenix2021: yea I know
[01:20] Lilaphoenix2021: most of my friends say that
[01:20] TWMFrntman: if you want to hang out and just be diana sometime, let me know
[01:21] Lilaphoenix2021: I will most def do that
[01:21] Lilaphoenix2021: I think I need it
[01:21] TWMFrntman: like the other night--that was neat
[01:21] Lilaphoenix2021: yea
[01:21] TWMFrntman: i caught a glimpse of "just diana"
[01:21] Lilaphoenix2021: and that stays between us, right?
[01:21] TWMFrntman: of course
[01:22] Lilaphoenix2021: good
[01:22] Lilaphoenix2021: good
[01:22] TWMFrntman: i have been trained in torture resistance
[01:22] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[01:22] TWMFrntman: part of my studies at spy school
[01:22] TWMFrntman: but i shouldn't have told you that
[01:22] TWMFrntman: damn!
[01:23] Lilaphoenix2021: said what??
[01:23] TWMFrntman: exactly
[01:23] Lilaphoenix2021: hehe
[01:23] TWMFrntman: maybe we can have lunch sometime--i'm up at the school around then most days
[01:25] Lilaphoenix2021: hmm... lunch tomorrow?
[01:25] Lilaphoenix2021: I get out of class at 12:15
[01:25] TWMFrntman: i should be up for that
[01:25] Lilaphoenix2021: and don't have class until 6:30
[01:26] TWMFrntman: i'm free from (at latest) 11 to 5
[01:27] Lilaphoenix2021: sounds good
[01:27] TWMFrntman: cool
[01:31] TWMFrntman: it's getting cold in here
[01:31] Lilaphoenix2021: yea I turned on the heater
[01:31] Lilaphoenix2021: because my roomies turned it off ><
[01:31] TWMFrntman: we just have crappy insulation
[01:32] Lilaphoenix2021: ahh
[01:32] Lilaphoenix2021: make sure you put towels near the windows and doors
[01:32] Lilaphoenix2021: it will help a ton
[01:32] Lilaphoenix2021: or newspaper
[01:32] TWMFrntman: unfortunately, there's no room to do so
[01:33] TWMFrntman: however, closing the sunroom door might help
[01:33] TWMFrntman: nadia opens it and leaves it there
[01:35] Lilaphoenix2021: like i said newspaper works
[01:36] TWMFrntman: well, shouldn't be cold much longer
[01:37] Lilaphoenix2021: i hope so
[01:52] TWMFrntman: well, time for bed
[01:52] Lilaphoenix2021: okies
[01:52] Lilaphoenix2021: nighty night
[01:52] TWMFrntman: good night
Session Close (Lilaphoenix2021): Thu Feb 16 01:52:35 2006


Session Start (twmfrntman:Lilaphoenix2021): Thu Feb 16 01:52:35 2006
[01:52] Lilaphoenix2021: thank you for your open ear
[01:52] TWMFrntman: no problem
[01:52] Lilaphoenix2021: you're the best
[01:52] TWMFrntman: i try
[01:53] TWMFrntman: i'll give you a ring about lunch tomorrow
Session Close (Lilaphoenix2021): Thu Feb 16 01:53:29 2006


Session Start (twmfrntman:Lilaphoenix2021): Thu Feb 16 01:53:37 2006
[01:53] Lilaphoenix2021: okies
[01:53] *** Auto-response sent to Lilaphoenix2021: I am currently away from the computer.
Session Close (Lilaphoenix2021): Thu Feb 16 01:53:43 2006

current mood: depressed

(3 comments | comment on this)

Monday, January 23rd, 2006
10:27 pm
Hey everybody, just letting you know I'm not dead. I started my new job and it's exhausting! But it's definately better than school. So that's why it seems like I've fallen off the planet again -_-. I tried calling Meghan a little while ago but I got her voice mail. It was scary so I hung up on it. Pfft, everyone should be generic like me. Silly people and their originality. We got Mike a much bigger cage. He seems to be doing well in it and he enjoys his new branch we gave him. I think Sake is enjoying my new found love for her. She's such an attention whore (when it comes to Matt and me). I find myself almost preferring to snuggle up with her in bed than get special attention from Matt. But mean old Matt throws her off the bed when he wants my affections. This apartment is hardly kitty-proof, I hope she doesn't hurt herself. Wish I could put her in a bubble where she could always be safe.

(1 comment | comment on this)

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